Hey Yall Hey….! I thank you for stopping by to see what I got going on and giving me them likes and shares! I’m about to hop on a DOOZY. It’s a doozy really because… ssshhiii…. I got hit with the ramifications of the pandy on multiple levels…. WEIGHT GAIN being one!!! Now don’t judge me. It’s been an emotional time, true, right?
Welp…. I’ve let it all goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo like GONE! If I wasn’t preexisting before…. I’m just going to ignore myself on that one. HOWEVER! I need to let you all in a little secret…. Come closer….. I never did the Make n Break. But I’m going to leave it in the posts because I need to be reminded every time I post, what this is all about. Health. That “Make n Break” is literally a blueprint for saving someone’s health. And if I was doing it I would have been posting about it, but I wasn’t…and am thankful for still getting the love from yall.

That’s the secret.

But I’m not going to start with the “Make n Break”…. taking myself on a short-term challenge- but a long-term journey with a series of challenges… like life, basically. But will run it out in a style that has a beginning a middle and an end… like the guy who did “Fit to Fat to Fit”… but his was a challenge… I’m on a mission. A “Life” mission.

FROM FAB (LIKE FABULOUS) TO NOW (LIKE NOW) TO FIT (LIKE LATER/END GOAL)

It’s a journey because it’s more than just the goal of “Natural Health and Weight Loss” but acknowledging where I was and tackling the shit that got me to where I am “NOW” and putting everything I know and learned and done together to get to that END GOAL aka “FIT”
I have to start here because in this journey, it’s the ties that bind that got me to where I am, how I got there and what it’s going to take to set it all straight. As a coach and mediator, I empower people to move through their process to get the results they want. But before I can solidify my stake as a coach and mediator, I MUST be that change I wish to see in the world…by the renewing of my mind, the reviving of my heart and the releasing of my soul

Because I now realize that I’ve been in pain and feeling defeat. Not just by pandy but by the ills of this world, and buried emotions of the past that’s still alive. And maybe a few regrets.
All of which got me to the NOW!!!!

Before NOW and pandy, I was dealing with some things but had the fire of hope that seared through me with optimism and a spectrum of light that only The Most High could create. I was walking in Grace, shown Mercy, and Love was my guiding light.

I had my own home, a new baby, in love, my dream job and was literally seeing the “God” in me.
In other words… The Most High was showing up in all kinds of ways and I thought I was on the golden path to happiness.

Little did I know it was all an illusion.

I was actually in love with a married man (who I didn’t know was married)
Then the car accident
Demons and Devils showed their ugly faces at work and also blocked my future opportunities
My child had a mentally deranged teacher
And I lost my home by someone with malicious intent…
and had to move in with my parents
Then here comes pandy….
But that doesn’t stop me….
Until…..

I came face to face with my inner child
And defeat
And rejection
And another failed attempt at living my dreams.

So NOW here I AM….
On another journey….
FROM FAB
TO NOW
TO FIT

These were my goals…. AND ARE STILL MY GOALS- NOW—- AGAIN

• 1. Be whole
• 2. Be physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy
• 3. Be financially stable and invest in home, business, and future!
• 4. Have a successful start of school and life
• 5. Be involved with a good, decent man and grow together
• 6. Have removed people who bring me down and pull me back
• 7. Be involved in activities that nurture my true character and nature
• 8. Be more proactive with my career endeavors
• 9. Be more involved with “good” people and bring people together!
• 10. Have debt paid and all that’s needed to move forward
• 11. Have a rewarding position with good pay and benefits
• 12. Have designed the blueprint of my life and start construction

LET’S SEE….  MOST OF THESE THINGS HAPPENED, SOME ARE STILL UNCHECKED…

A REDESIGN, MAYBE? MORE DETAILS NEEDED? MORE INTENT?

HOW ABOUT THE BLUEPRINT?

I THINK THERE SHOULD BE A BLUEPRINT FOR EVERY AREA OF LIFE… THE 5 MAINSTAYS… SELF, FAMILY, FINANCES, RELATIONSHIPS, FUTURE…. THE ENERGIES OF THINGS, EBBS, FLOWS AND CURRENCIES, ATTACHMENTS, VESSELS, DOCKS, BAGGAGE AND SUITCASES, LOL….

So now that you know… what am I doing? I’ve been FAB(ULOUS). Maybe not complete in a sense of having it all together, but on a path, perhaps. But it wasn’t real. I’m going to tell you why in my next installment.

The pandy helped to reveal some truths of where we are and who we are in this world. Like Revelations unfolding, 4really… But I will say that none of my experiences were by accident. But design. Because it led me here… to do what I was always meant to do first… write.

Write the truth, as I see it.

AND

The truth of where I am NOW.

OK…I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING… WOW….WTF….OMG….DAAAAMMNNN!!!
Anyone who lost weight or dealing with weight or health issues can realize this. Except this time I know I can not sway. I must get stronger.

If you consider what I’m trying to do and convey, it makes a lot of sense… I’m looking to be encouraged and be encouraging through the means of baring myself.
Not by way of listening to my doctor fill 5 prescriptions
Or continue to try new diets but sneak cookies in the middle of the night
Or tell my fam what I’m doing for support and get knocked down when they should be doing it too

No… I’m opening up to my readers, because I’ve watched tooo many videos, read toooo many blogs and seen tooo many people who have said “F” it an didn’t hide their shame of letting go, but honored themselves in being humble enough to let other people encourage them.
I mean you can’t hide being a hundred pounds overweight
And truly the things inside that’s causing you to create that cushion of weight.

I’ve been fed up, but this isn’t about being fed up. It’s about being committed to accountability and being fed up with not being held accountable. Someone has a hundred dollar debt to pay. It’s on me, so I got to pay it. It’s just that sometimes it feels good to show people you’re doing what you supposed to do. So maybe that’s what I’m doing.

Anyway… the illusion of my life that begat my pain and ultimate “letting go” of myself was that it was never about ME.
Of course your life isn’t your own… but when your existence and happiness depends on the service and sustainability of others… it’s not really your happiness, is it? It’s not really your truth?? It’s not really your destiny??? It’s not really where you belong, but a town you passed through, sort of.

I fell in love, because he wanted me to love him
I was committed to my job because I wanted to help people get better
I didn’t beat that teachers ass because I knew she was crazy and showed her compassion
I didn’t curse, scream and try to sue the pants off my employer because I didn’t want to bring my coworkers into something they didn’t desire
I didn’t sue and call out all the doctors who mistreated and misdiagnosed me after my car accident, because I didn’t want to discredit the people who were actually helping me
I didn’t want to fight for my home because I knew after everything that happened above… it wasn’t nothing left of me to fight with.
But also… I didn’t want to move in with my parents because… I didn’t want to burden them with me and my child, but even more…

I didn’t want to feel the loss of my own adulthood and everything I worked so hard for and see that it was GONE!

Then pandy takes the rest of it… But like I said before… I still had the fire of hope raging in me like the life of the sun awakening the darkness to a new day.
Then pandy never went away, and I travelled a different path, and down the road to the “new normal” where a doorway emerged and began to take me down memory lane as I wrote and published my poetry and spoken word book “Just Writing” Book One: Transcending. Works from a time in life that was difficult and scary, but choosing to never give up.
While doing this and being with my mother… is where I met my inner child. And now am reminded why I have to start new, break the cycles and see what’s at stake….

On my own…

and I am left to see a truth that if I don’t move towards getting “Fit”, the pandy, along with the ills of the world, the forces of good and evil, and this cold dark winter upon us…. I will regret it.
Yet… we must live with purpose, not regret.
So being a little vulnerable as I bring my truth to light is the only thing I can think to do right now, by……

Remembering my past, recording my present, and rewriting my future.

Next Installment: When in Rome…

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